Hello and Merry Christmas from Vancouver... Or from around the corner, depending who you are. I write these every year, but this is the first year I have had a blog to write in. So here's what is going on with me. If you are reading this, I value you in my life. Let me know what is going on with you and how I can be a part of it all in 2010. That is what this is all about.
Another year come and gone, another year to look forward to. I have to say that this year was a great improvement on previous years. For those of you who know me well, you know that this year started out with the biggest scare of my life where in I was confronted with my own mortality for the first time. I am happy to say that I came through this as a much stronger person. In the end 2009 is recorded in my mind as the best year I have had in recent memory. The beginning of this year was a wake up call, at the very least. Most importantly, I gained perspective on life which most people don't have until their more wiser years. Does this make me wiser and more mature? Maybe, but probably not. I'm as immature as I always was and I hope that stays with me for a while, I like it. I do, however, see things differently. I have learned to appreciate the little things, to figure out what I really want, commit, and go for it. I am more driven, but also a much calmer person then I once was. Basically, the drama and fears one has as barriers in everyday life aren't worth the time we spend on them. The meaningful things in life are those that bond us closer to our loved ones and there is nothing more important then truth, altruism, and defying our ego's in maintaining relationships, whether they are personal or professional.
I have been doing a lot of meditating this year and attending a Shambhalla centre in Vancouver. This has helped me gain control of my own pride and clear my mind in order to have perspective in both my work and personal life, decision making, and just simply allowed me to be a calmer, more thoughtful individual.
I took a job in the mental health field and have gotten away from case managing people with disabilities. It was a pay cut, but I need experience in mental health if I am to complete my masters in clinical psychology and have a career as a counselor. I work with people with mental health and addictions issues in a concurrent disorders hospital facility. I am learning a lot, humbling myself, and gaining a lot of experience. It is challenging due to how sick these people are, their level of despiration, the sad outcomes which outnumber the success stories, and the fact that the patients I work with are one step away from the infamous blood alley in the DTES of Vancouver. We are running under a harm reduction philosophy and the first of our kind in North America so we learn more each day. It's a long process which requires patience and it will be another four years before we are fully meeting our mandate, but we are doing good work.
I have also been able to take the time this year to really decide what I want from life. I will be going to Seattle University for my masters in Clinical Counselling in the fall. The cost of a Masters Degree is assinine, but I will find a way. I will shortly after set up a practice based in the balance of mind and body. I hope to run it out of a housing project which I have done a business plan for and received good feedback on so far. The PhD will come later, but do hope to write and teach in my latter career and never actually retire.
I am staying fit as usual and eating much differently as I had to change my diet after surgery. I'm doing cheesy things like using a light therapy device to counteract the lack of light here in Vancouver during the rainy season... I will forever be a nerd. Side note: It snowed a little here the other day... Yikes! It is melted now, though, and I am still counting my blessings I am no longer in Alberta.
I went to Europe this summer for a month and had the time of my life. I hope to take another trip this year. Another thing I have discovered that I love is seeing other parts of the world. I have started to learn German and I hope to spend more time in Vienna. I would give my right arm to have European citizenship, but we'll see how it goes...
I am in Edmonton until the 22nd to see family, friends, and, of course, the puppies! If I don't tell you in person I wish you a peaceful holidays and a prosperous 2010!
Jason
Fear of failure takes many forms, but it usually comes down to one thing: not trying. How does fear of failure manifest itself? Procrastination: We put off doing things in order to avoid the imagined pain of doing them. Our subconscious does not like vulnerability.
