Vancouversary

So today I have lived in Vancouver for 5 years. I spent a little time reflecting on how stressful and exciting that move was today and appreciating my city. The sun is shining brightly over the water as I type this.

September 30th 2005, after selling my house and a few months of planning, I drove my big ass Uhaul across the border into BC through the mountains. I stopped to reflect at the border, right in front of the "Welcome To Beautiful British Columbia" sign.

I got out and took my time to look forward at what awaited me. When I glanced back all I saw was a huge wall of snow on the Alberta side. A storm was approaching like a stampede of bulls kicking up dirt in it's wake. I got back in the truck and floored it. I outran the snow and drove straight into the sun and my new life ahead.

AIDS WALK FOR LIFE

In this time of political upheaval, economic hardship, and pop-culture supremacy, events like the AIDS walk which took place today across Canada are critical to refocus our country's attention, and re-engage this disease, which continues to ravage our nation's most-vulnerable populations.

Advances in treatment options, as well as natural limitations on our society's collective attention span, have contributed to a general decline in the public's sense of urgency when it comes to HIV/AIDS.

But while the epidemic has largely fallen off the general public's radar screen, a cure continues to elude medical researchers, and infection rates remain alarmingly high. Those of us in the movement are often left wondering what can be done to make people listen.

The number of people living with HIV (including AIDS) in Canada continues to rise, from an estimated 57,000 in 2005 to 65,000 in 2008 (a 14% increase).

It has long been recognized that HIV/AIDS follows marginalization like a guided missile and that, by definition, those who are most at risk for HIV/AIDS are the most marginalized in our society.

Gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men (MSM) continued to comprise the greatest proportion (44%) of new HIV infections in 2008, which was only slightly lower than the estimated 45% they comprised in 2005.

In 2008, the proportion of new infections among persons who inject drugs (IDU) was slightly higher than in 2005 (17% compared to 16%).

The proportions of new infections were unchanged from 2005 in both heterosexual/ non-endemic (20%) and heterosexual/endemic (16%) exposure categories.

The proportion of all new infections among women was unchanged from 2005 to 2008 (26%).

Aboriginal persons also continue to be over-represented in the HIV epidemic in Canada, and comprised 12.5% of all new infections in 2008, higher than the 10.5% of all new infections in 2005.

But there is hope.

Education on the transmission of HIV can make a difference.

Lessons on proper nutrition can help people live healthy, normal lives longer.

Access to medicines and quality care can ensure people infected with HIV and those caring for them can continue to work and go to school.

Education and protection for children orphaned by AIDS and other vulnerable children can give them the strength to become survivors – not victims.

Savings and loans groups can help people living with HIV and AIDS access the money they need to provide for their families.

To face this challenge, there emerges private and non-profit organizations who use a multi-faceted and community-based approach to HIV and AIDS that seeks out the root of the problem, as well as the effects. These agencies need your support. Give if you can, exercise your right to vote for those public figures who lend their support, and just take a moment to reflect on this issue.

$150,524 was raised today in Vancouver alone. Thanks you very very much to those of you who sponsored me and the many other people who went out, walked, and created awareness about the HIV/AIDS epidemic.

http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=958094

Catherine White Holman - A Light to So Many

Tomorrow I will walk at the front of the pride parade with my colleagues and friends of Three Bridges Community Health Centre to honor and represent a very special lady who was elected posthumously as the Grand Marshall of this years pride ceremonies.

I have the honor to be given the opportunity to continue Catherine's work. A job which comes with everyday rewards, but giant shoes to fill.

The following is an excerpt from an article written in the Vancouver Sun about Catherine:

"

Social worker Catherine White-Holman was a pioneer in Vancouver's Downtown neighbourhoods, bringing health services to the most marginalized people in the city, according to long-time colleague Trevor Corneil.

"Catherine was a remarkable person," said Corneil, a physician at Three Bridges Community Health Centre where White-Holman was a founding staff member. "I have worked with Catherine for 15 years, since I started out as a resident, and I have seen her help thousands of people."

White-Holman was among the six people killed when their seaplane crashed soon after takeoff near Saturna Island. The other victims were Kerry Telford and her infant daughter Sarah, Tom Glenn of White Rock and Richard Haskitt and Cindy Schafer of Huntington Beach, Calif.

White-Holman was a strong advocate for her clients at the clinic and an activist for the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender community and was openly lesbian. She is survived by her spouse Shaira Holman.

"Her marriage was a great celebratory moment for her," said Corneil. "It was the one time she enjoyed what she always insisted on for her clients, equality."

White-Holman was a founding staff member at the Three Bridges clinic and worked on the frontlines of the HIV epidemic when the disease began to spread among IV drug users in the 90s.

The clinic employs several physicians, social workers, counsellors and advocates working on a model that combines medical services with a entire suite of mental health and community support services, from counselling to finding a place to live or securing disability benefits and finding childcare.

She wrote the book, literally, on best practices in the care of GLBT patients, when she penned Guidelines for Transgender Care and Care of Transgender Adolescents, which describe standards and practices for care used by medical professionals all over the world.

"I wouldn't use the word driven to describe her," Three Bridges mental health counsellor Margaret Drewlo. "She was more joyous high energy."

"Working with her was great, a privilege," Drewlo said. "When she was at work she was totally at work and when she was off work she was having huge fun in the other part of her life."

"She lived big and she loved big," said Drewlo. "She was always so expressive of her love for her partner, Shaira," she said.

White-Holman was an instructor at the University of British Columbia, teaching medical students social work practices. Wednesday would have been her last class of the term.

"

Catherine worked tirelessly and played hard outside of work. Have fun this weekend. Be BIG and be PROUD! Catherine would approve.

To donate to Catherine White Holman's legacy fund (a fund to help queers in need. Those who have experienced marginalization as the result of being who they are) please visit this site:

http://sdholman.com/walkforlove/donate

Top 10 Things I Never Want To Hear Anyone Say Again

10) "Irregardless"

9) "Any-who..."

8) "I'm not racist, but..."

7) "Bee-atch"

6) "Woot!"

5) "Don't get me wrong"

4) "Going forward"

3) "You have to think outside the box"

2) "With all due respect"

...drumroll...


1) "Oops, I pooped..."

My Friday Night

How To Change Your Memories

Someone told me yesterday how much they liked hearing what goes on inside my head. I thought this was a weird comment, but it got me to thinking about how I haven't written here in a while. New job, Olympics, etc... Life has been really crazy.

I might also have titled this post: "The Secret is Yourself"

I have really reinvented myself in the last 2-3 years. I don't think I could have done so if I hadn't recognized that my life needed a change. It also would not have happened if I had not changed the way I see the world and even how I remembered the things that happened to me. Instead of seeing regret, I am now thankful for the lessons I have been taught and see them as opportunities for growth.

Everyone knows that your current outlook on life is largely reflective of your experiences in life. That's just basic psychological blah blah blah... But did you know that your memories of those experiences are completely malleable to your current mood and recent experience? Depending on your recent mood and experiences, the details in your memories will change.

Anyone who has tried to save an entire television series or a whole bunch of movies to the hard drive of their computer knows that the comprehensive second by second account of something like this this takes up a lot of space. So how do we do it and save everything in our heads. Even with the most advanced of technology we could imagine, a movie which lasts for 80 to 100 years could not be saved on a hard drive which would fit into a space the size of our head. So how do we keep all that in there? Never-the-less be able to call it up at will? The answer is that we don't.

When we remember something, we remember on a few important details. Kindof like a summary. Then when our mind recalls the experience, it recalls this summary and our mind fills in the blanks with details which are reflective of our current mood and recent, relevant, learning experiences. This happens much in the same way that our vision system fills in the hole left by our blind spot at the back of our eye. Every human has a blind spot; a gap in the image that is being reflected onto the back of our eye caused by the spot where the retinal nerves attach. The whole and uninterrupted image you are seeing now is a result of your mind seamlessly filling in the gap with what it thinks must be there. Our mind does this so fast that we don't notice. In the same way, our memory system fills in the details in between the summary points of our recalled experience based on what it assumes is there... And what it assumes is there is based on our current state and more recent related experiences.

Our current state effects how we see our past and how we see our past effects our current state. If our current state is negative, this sets in motion a downward spiral of negative thinking patterns which are reinforced by negative memories and bring forward more negative thoughts which cause us to have more negative experiences. The same thing happens in a positive way if our current state is positive. A positive outlook begets positive memories, begets more positve experiences, and so on... It IS possible to have an upward spiral. This explains, in a logical way, the effectiveness of theories such as "The Secret"... And why people believe in Karma. Putting positive energy out there does bring us good results in return, but it is really the result of seeing things positively that gives us more power and energy to make good things happen for ourselves.

So how do we make that happen?

We learn to become self aware enough to change our negative thought patterns.

The first step in this is to become grounded and centred enough so that we can see our thoughts for what they really are. Some people meditate, some people seek counseling, some people just have really good and honest friends who's opinions they respect.

The next step is to identify and admit when a thought is problematic. This just takes practice and is the tricky part. It is a matter of catching those things that hook you and steer you astray from where you want to be. This is a big enough topic that I think a thesis could be written on it and so I plan to do so. I believe that meditative and mindfulness practices can be used together with cognitive therapies. It is a matter of staying present and self aware for longer periods of time.

Now that you have recognized when you use the destructive thinking patterns it is now time to change it. This is something that you don’t do immediately. You don’t just change "I’ll never be able to do that”, which is your old thinking pattern, to “Oh yes I can”. That won’t work. You have to let the old pattern die slowly whilst slowly introducing your new improved thinking pattern. You have to let the upward spiral start working. Again, some people are able to make these things happen for themselves, and some people need professional help. Your outlook will change slowly and your memories will change slowly. You too will begin to see the barriers you have had in your life as opportunities to grow and lessons you are thankful you have been taught. You will learn those lessons and you will grow.

This work is never done, but does get a lot easier. That is the next stage I guess; Watching your life's success's happen. Identify them, appreciate them, and let them build your confidence and create a more positive future for your. Create even more positive memories and enjoy seeing them for what they are.

Some negative thinking patterns to watch out for:

"Life is shit" - Everything in life is bad and nothing good ever happens to me.

"Negative Psychic" - Presuming you know what others are thinking and it is always bad.

"Should, Would, Could" - I would change things if I could, but I can't because...

"It's all my fault" - Everything bad that happens is my fault so I don't deserve better.

Emotions based" - My emotions control me and I can't change them

"They are all wrong" - Nobody else does things right and my way is the best way to do it.

Anyway... That's what I was thinking today...

My Vancouver 2010 Olympics Itinerary of Events - how to do several events a day and not spend a dime

**Im publishing this so anyone can take part. Everything you could want to do without spending any money. And anyone wanting to take a break while at LiveCity in David Lam Park is welcome to drop by my place**

Feb 10th:
-9am- Ribbon cutting at W2 Art Gallery; Community Media Centre - with Mayor Robertson

Feb11th:
-2pm- Pride House Cultural Centre grand opening - Davie and Bute *Make this a part of your venue visits.
-6pm - The torch arrives in David Lam Park - right by my place - Drinks and hot tub after at my place for anyone interested.

Feb 12:
-Opening Ceremonies viewing at my place and in the park - Drinks and hot tub at my place after.
-10pm - Bedouin Soundclash at the Ontario Pavilion

Feb13th:
-Walk Granville, Robson, Mainland, and Hamilton - the streets with all the action
!!! 3:30pm - Dancing in the street - dancing flash mob grand central station style - location to be announced - join the facebook page !!!
-Check out Powersmart Village
-7pm - the Anvil; experience at The Venue
-9pm - Wilco at LiveCity in David Lam Park in Yaletown
-Lazer show

Feb 14:
-Visit Altlantic Canada Place on Granville Island
-8pm - Daniel Wesley at LiveCity at David Lam park in Yaletown
-Lazer show

Feb 15:
-Do the zip line over Robson
-See BC Pavilion at the art gallery
-8pm - Jets Overhead at LiveCity Downtown
-10pm - Sloan at the Atlantic Pavilion

Feb 16:
-8pm - Alexis on Fire at LiveCity Yaletown
-Lazer show

Feb 17:
-6pm - Men's snowboard halfipe finals at LiveCity in Yaletown
-Check out the Canada Pavilion at BC Place
-9pm - The Stanfields at LiveCity Downtown

Feb 18th:
-7pm - Mariana's Trench at LiveCity Yaletown
-9pm - Wicked DJ's and Party "FUSE style" at W2 Galleries and Media Hub

Feb 19th:
-9pm - DEADMAU5 - HUGE party at LiveCity Yaletown - Pre-drinks at my place

Feb 20:
-3pm - Watch Men's hockey on the big screen at LiveCity Yaletown
-7pm - The Arkells at LiveCity Yaletown
-Lazer Show

Feb 21:
-Walk Granville, Robson, Mainland, and Hamilton - the streets with all the action
-Visit Italian Pavillion at the RounHouse
-Visit the German Pavilion at the Rowing Club
-9pm - 54-40 at Holland Park in Richmond

Feb 22:
-Visit the Slovak House at the Vancouver International Cinema on Seymour
-9:30pm - Colin James at LiveCity Yaletown
-Lazer show

Feb 23:
-Visit the House of Russia at Science World
-8pm - The Constantines at LiveCity Yaletown

Feb 24:
-Visit the House of Switzerland at Granville Island
-8pm - Chocolat at LiveCity Yaletown

Feb 25th:
-7pm - John Reid at LiveCity Yaletown
-Lazer show

Feb 26:
-6pm Men's hockey semi-finals on the big screen at LiveCity Yaletown
-8pm - TBC at LiveCity Yaletown

Feb 27:
-Pan Pacific Pavilion at the Pan Pacific Hotel
-Pride House on Davie and Bute
-6pm - Hockey Bronze medal on the big screen at LiveCity Yaletown

Feb 28th:
-12:30 - Men's Hockey Gold Medal Game on the big screen at LiveCity Yaletown
-3pm - Closing ceremonies on the big screen at LiveCity Yaletown
-Hot tub and drinks at Jay's :)