I might also have titled this post: "The Secret is Yourself"
I have really reinvented myself in the last 2-3 years. I don't think I could have done so if I hadn't recognized that my life needed a change. It also would not have happened if I had not changed the way I see the world and even how I remembered the things that happened to me. Instead of seeing regret, I am now thankful for the lessons I have been taught and see them as opportunities for growth.
Everyone knows that your current outlook on life is largely reflective of your experiences in life. That's just basic psychological blah blah blah... But did you know that your memories of those experiences are completely malleable to your current mood and recent experience? Depending on your recent mood and experiences, the details in your memories will change.
Anyone who has tried to save an entire television series or a whole bunch of movies to the hard drive of their computer knows that the comprehensive second by second account of something like this this takes up a lot of space. So how do we do it and save everything in our heads. Even with the most advanced of technology we could imagine, a movie which lasts for 80 to 100 years could not be saved on a hard drive which would fit into a space the size of our head. So how do we keep all that in there? Never-the-less be able to call it up at will? The answer is that we don't.
When we remember something, we remember on a few important details. Kindof like a summary. Then when our mind recalls the experience, it recalls this summary and our mind fills in the blanks with details which are reflective of our current mood and recent, relevant, learning experiences. This happens much in the same way that our vision system fills in the hole left by our blind spot at the back of our eye. Every human has a blind spot; a gap in the image that is being reflected onto the back of our eye caused by the spot where the retinal nerves attach. The whole and uninterrupted image you are seeing now is a result of your mind seamlessly filling in the gap with what it thinks must be there. Our mind does this so fast that we don't notice. In the same way, our memory system fills in the details in between the summary points of our recalled experience based on what it assumes is there... And what it assumes is there is based on our current state and more recent related experiences.
Our current state effects how we see our past and how we see our past effects our current state. If our current state is negative, this sets in motion a downward spiral of negative thinking patterns which are reinforced by negative memories and bring forward more negative thoughts which cause us to have more negative experiences. The same thing happens in a positive way if our current state is positive. A positive outlook begets positive memories, begets more positve experiences, and so on... It IS possible to have an upward spiral. This explains, in a logical way, the effectiveness of theories such as "The Secret"... And why people believe in Karma. Putting positive energy out there does bring us good results in return, but it is really the result of seeing things positively that gives us more power and energy to make good things happen for ourselves.
So how do we make that happen?
We learn to become self aware enough to change our negative thought patterns.
The first step in this is to become grounded and centred enough so that we can see our thoughts for what they really are. Some people meditate, some people seek counseling, some people just have really good and honest friends who's opinions they respect.
The next step is to identify and admit when a thought is problematic. This just takes practice and is the tricky part. It is a matter of catching those things that hook you and steer you astray from where you want to be. This is a big enough topic that I think a thesis could be written on it and so I plan to do so. I believe that meditative and mindfulness practices can be used together with cognitive therapies. It is a matter of staying present and self aware for longer periods of time.
Now that you have recognized when you use the destructive thinking patterns it is now time to change it. This is something that you don’t do immediately. You don’t just change "I’ll never be able to do that”, which is your old thinking pattern, to “Oh yes I can”. That won’t work. You have to let the old pattern die slowly whilst slowly introducing your new improved thinking pattern. You have to let the upward spiral start working. Again, some people are able to make these things happen for themselves, and some people need professional help. Your outlook will change slowly and your memories will change slowly. You too will begin to see the barriers you have had in your life as opportunities to grow and lessons you are thankful you have been taught. You will learn those lessons and you will grow.
This work is never done, but does get a lot easier. That is the next stage I guess; Watching your life's success's happen. Identify them, appreciate them, and let them build your confidence and create a more positive future for your. Create even more positive memories and enjoy seeing them for what they are.
Some negative thinking patterns to watch out for:
"Life is shit" - Everything in life is bad and nothing good ever happens to me.
"Negative Psychic" - Presuming you know what others are thinking and it is always bad.
"Should, Would, Could" - I would change things if I could, but I can't because...
"It's all my fault" - Everything bad that happens is my fault so I don't deserve better.
Emotions based" - My emotions control me and I can't change them
"They are all wrong" - Nobody else does things right and my way is the best way to do it.
Anyway... That's what I was thinking today...
