Courtesy of V-RAG June Edition
My July article is on LGBT Sports. Read it in print in the current edition of V-RAG Magazine.
Catch my health and wellness column in V-RAG Magazine. Pick it up in coffee shops and lobbies around town. www.v-rag.com
For those of you that cant, here is June's article :)
June is pride month
Sure, the parade isn't until the end of July, but 42 years ago, this month, the Stonewall riots occurred in New York City's Greenwich Village. Since then, June has been officially proclaimed as pride month in Canada and around the globe. With the celebrations still many weeks ahead, this month gives us the opportunity to remind ourselves of what pride is really about and to reconnect with its original roots.
The word PRIDE looks simple, but it represents a profound purpose in life. By definition it means to take pleasure or satisfaction from achievement. Pride can be a pillar of strength and a source of energy one calls upon to overcome challenges. For LGBT individuals, pride involves sharing a common sense of satisfaction which lends to camaraderie, the building of community, and acceptance among peers. I would argue that pride is essential to the maturity and mental health of all queer people. Pride is healing.
So what is the achievement we are so proud of?
Many gay individuals grow up feeling that they are flawed and unwelcome guests at the party. Whether this rejection is real or perceived, subtle or overt, perpetrated by strangers or close family members, this is our ‘gay trauma’ that we all share. It binds us. Many of us as adults still lack self esteem and a healthy ego. It is not uncommon to see queer adults overcompensate. Many feel that they need to make more money, become famous, live outrageously, be special, or do something extraordinary to be worthy of notice. Such achievements are not likely to lead to a positive end. They are the manifestations of what author, Alan Downs, calls our ‘Velvet Rage’. Feelings of worthlessness can be created in childhood, quite unintentionally, and these lead gay adults to search for unachievable perfection.
We see this material attitude in much of the more commercialized pride celebration. The Velvet Rage theory touches on this subject. “We put on this TV picture and what we show is: ‘I’m proud to be gay.’ Underneath that, we might be dying inside.” The achievement of money, success, fame, or glamour does not nurture a healthy pride.
Gay men are four times more likely to suffer from depression than straight men. In fact, nearly all queer individuals suffer at some point from low self esteem and it is often linked to a perception that one’s self-worth is linked to one’s appearance and material successes. To heal from this, both individually and as a community, the next phase in our evolution must be to create a culture that is livable, comfortable, and accepting. Celebrating our collective pride gives us this opportunity.
Our real achievements to be proud of are the pain and trauma we have overcome, the fact that we love ourselves, and our diverse and welcoming community. The root of pride season is celebration of diversity. By celebrating this gift, standing in solidarity, and demonstrating a healthy pride, we continue to achieve a progressively higher level of acceptance in our larger national and global communities.
Pride is something we should practice all year round, but use this month as an opportunity to examine what you are proud of. When pride weekend arrives, share your healthy achievements with others and contribute to the sense of camaraderie and support within our community. Many community organizations are putting forth efforts to foster a healthy pride celebration. If you are looking for a place to go after the parade this year, Health Initiative for Men will be hosting a wellness space in a large tent behind the ‘dust bowl’ area by the beach. Look forward to seeing you there!
Jason Keller
Counsellor & Client Care Coordinator,
Vancouver Coastal Health
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