Here Goes Nothing

So I've started this blog for myself, I think. I would be happy if people read it but I think it's mostly for me. I am a bit of an exhibitionist, but I also have a compulsive need to get thoughts out of my head. I like to work through what is happening in my life on paper. I excelled in the right brained subjects in school by being an open book within my work. I am used to penning my life to paper. This is just an extension of that.

Firstly, I'm going to be travelling several cities throughout Europe in the next month. This is a great conduit for updating my friends and family about what is going on. I intend to write semi-nightly and post as many pictures as possible. I have dubbed this trip my voyage of self discovery :P ... Maybe I will return to Canada having made a few profound decisions regarding the direction of my life.

Secondly, I have been wanting to start a blog for a while. Maybe I'll save myself some money which would otherwise be spent on therapy. Expressive Catharsis is under-rated...

So a little more about me. I'm 32 years old and I alternate my days between feeling like I'm old and over the hill and feeling like I'm chronically immature and will never grow up. I have been through a lot in the past year with my health. That is behind me. However, it did open my eyes as I faced my own mortality for the first time. I was brought up Christian. Although, I no longer subscribe to those beliefs, my recent experiences have caused me to explore what spirituality means to me. I subscribe to a sort of Unity of Consciousness school of thought and I have been reading a lot of Eckhardt Tolle.

I'm gay. Although that may be the last time you see me put a focus on my sexuality. It's a part of me, but I have dealt with it and moved on. I would not live any other way even if I had the choice to change it. I'm a gay guy that still dreams of the white picket fence with kids. I'm working on it. I have had my heart broken, yanked out, stepped on, and kicked in to the ditch but I have managed not to become synical or jaded. I won't play the dating game. I live what I feel and I hope that never changes.